Corporate

Holy Fakin' Email, Batman!

I've about had it with these religi-whacks trying every which way to jam their holy intentions down my throat. While I find the bumper sticker bearing, Tea Party attending Christian fundamentalist activists wholeheartedly obnoxious and intolerable, I've come to discover I'm more irritated by those who adopt the more subtle, seemingly innocent approach to raping you with their religion as part of their subconscious need to save the non-believers from ourselves and recruit us into their cause.

 

You know the type to which I refer. They're the ones with the email signatures like 'God bless', 'have a blessed day', or some faked up string of biblical verse gracing the end of their emails. Why must people do this, I ask myself? Are you so dead-set on showing off your Christianity (ie stupidity) that you want to shout it from the minarets? Ooops, sorry, wrong religion. 

Go Google Yourself China!

When someone really faked off my dad, his most common and fiercest reply was "Why don't you go fak yourself and see how that works out for you?" In the spirit of that feeling, I take the liberty of tweaking it a bit to apply to the latest row between Google and my favorite place on earth: China. You know, China, where the internet is free, and the rest of us are being unreasonable imperialist faks.

To China I say: "Why don't you go Google yourself and see what results for you?" However, before you do, I dare you to drop your censors first. Then, let's compare the before and after screenshots. Are you man enough to come out from behind the Great Firewall of China, officially known as the Golden Shield Project, and show us what results from random searches on some of your favorite keywords like taboo Tibet and Tiananmen Square just for kicks.

What do Choppers, Jihadists & Anti-Depressants Have in Common?

So here I was on a lazy Saturday morning barely awake switching on my brand new Bravia for the latest international news as I was smelling the freshly brewed Colombian coffee.  It seemed very pleasant outside and I was looking forward to the nice warm weather and a walk by the beach. I was thinking about the fun I'd have for the rest of the day far away from my cubicle when all of a sudden my tranquillity was interrupted by something that sounded like a big explosion. For a microsecond I felt like I was in the middle of Kabul. I looked at the TV in case BBC was showing the latest Taliban attack, but to my avail, it was showing the latest results from the Ashes. Then another loud bang almost made me dropped my precious coffee on my Polo robe. ‘What The Flying FAK', I thought? I was neither living in Kabul nor in Baghdad and BBC was just showing freaking cricket!

Welcome to Monolithic Insanity

Like many others these days, I had to move because of my job. So I ended up in a cubicle. Naturally, I instantly got interested in who came up with that monstrosity. A few months ago, I happened to read an article in Fortune regarding this issue so after a quick search of my bookmarks, I found the story.

Interestingly, the inventor of the cubicle, before his 2000 death denounced his creation by calling it 'monolithic insanity.'

What's in a Name?

In its attempt to more successfully market the cheap and plentiful cod substitute, pollack, British supermarket Sainsbury's will now call it by its French name ‘colin.' While pollack caught in British waters is in great demand with the French as ‘colin,' British consumers aren't as impressed. Retailers believe shoppers are embarrassed to ask for pollack because of its widely known reputation as a cheaper white fish than cod in the same way people may not be proud to show off their generic or private label goods over well-known national brands. 

I don't know how much sense this revamped marketing plan makes though.

Corporate BS

My fellow readers,

I think it is time to go forward together and face the challenges ahead. Our doors are always open on these issues and it is important to cascade down and inseminate our information. We should all be great product evangelists and increase the limited bandwidth for all the platform atheists in this competitive blogging environment.

For this, Antigone and myself are inviting you to an idea shower session where we will be looking under the bonnet for a holistic, cradle-to-grave approach. We are confident that we will eventually be able to sprinkle our site's magic across the internet through leveraging our great talents. And also, in addition, we will finally be getting our fingers down the throat of the organizations which fail to live our values.

Get Married or You're Fired!

Get married or you’re fired! Something uttered by a new version of the obnoxious Donald Trump on his famed reality show The Apprentice? No, afraid not. This is the threat issued to single workers at Iran’s state-owned Pars Special Economic Energy Zone Company which controls the gas and petrochemical network along the Gulf.

Shockingly: a screwy policy in Iran – home of the ‘fashion police,’ that go about harassing both citizens and foreign visitors alike for dressing too un-Islamically with such violations cited as ‘showing too much hair’ or wearing a color they deem too bright.

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