Speaking of frivolous litigation

Have you heard the story of the New York woman suing Apple for slashing $200 from the price of its iPhone just 68 days after she wasted hours of her life queuing to be one of the first to own one? She’s very upset and feels Apple owes her $1 million in damages for price discrimination, underselling, deceptive actions – to name a few of her claims.

While Apple’s actions may very well be in violation of actual laws, I find the price decrease rather amusing. I’m perplexed by this ‘hurry up and be the first to have it’ mentality that robs people of common sense and inspires them to take days off from work to camp outside some store to buy the latest this or that the moment it goes on sale. Salivating over the latest gadget like a dog does over a juicy steak. What is this obsession with being the first or one of the first to have the new mobile phone or video game or Harry Potter book? Does it make you a better person? So what if you saw a Star Wars film on opening night? Who the fak cares? So what if you own an iPhone because you stood in line for hours to pay full price when it would’ve cost you a lot less if you had a little patience? Who the fak cares? Has this ownership led you to discover the cure for cancer or key to world peace or done anything remarkably significant? No. Instead you’ve wasted x# of hours of your life queuing for something no one will care about when the next thing comes along. How significant an accomplishment! Your parents must be so proud!

Why should a company be held accountable for consumer stupidity? I’m certainly not pro-corporation but there comes a time for a consumer to employ a bit of common sense. How is it Starbucks’ fault if you’re burned by hot coffee? Hot coffee is supposed to be hot. How is it McDonalds’ fault if you stuff your face with Big Macs and fries daily and guzzle those jumbo cups of soda and gain weight? They’re not exactly selling health food now are they? Find me someone who honestly doesn’t know that. So how is it Apple’s fault this consumer ran out and paid full price on a gadget that dropped in price soon after its debut? Isn’t that usually what happens with most cutting-edge gadgets that go from WOW to who cares in the mere blink of the eye?

Should Apple pay you $1 million in damages because you’ve failed to exercise some common sense? If your phone blew up in your hand, then maybe you have grounds to sue. However, just because you cannot control yourself and suffer from ‘must have it first’ syndrome, should we jam up the court system with your frivolous lawsuits?

I applaud Apple in the price decrease and wish it’d teach these die-hard consumaholics a lesson. It doesn’t always pay to be first. However, I don’t have much hope since most seem incurable addicts. They can get screwed on the cost of an iPhone but a year from now, it’ll be something else they must absolutely have RIGHT now before most others do. They’ll stand in line for days, resort to caveman behavior - like beating the hell out of other shoppers for that last Tickle Me Elmo or crushing someone to death to land one of those Cabbage Patch Kids your kid HAD to have back in the 80s. I love the parents that cite: ‘But my kids really want it.’ Oh so that justifies this lunacy of paying over $1000 for some $20 doll? Maybe now’s the time to teach your kids one of life’s most important lessons: ‘You don’t always get what you want.’ I loved the stories around Christmastime last year when people so driven by the desire to own the year’s hottest gaming system, recklessly agreed to meet up with a stranger at 2am in some dark parking lot to buy it for 10 times its retail price in response to an ad posted on Craigslist. And people were actually surprised to be mugged rather than sold the overpriced toy. Imagine that!

Oh fak – Christmas is coming! Too bad Santa can’t fill some stockings with some much-needed common sense. At least it’d hold its value more than that iPhone.