You are where you're born!

Ever see these bumper stickers like ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish’ or
a kitchen magnet boasting: ‘I’m not only perfect, I’m also Italian!’? I see
these far and wide across America
and think to myself: Wow, this really IS the land of immigrants! I’d like to
stop these people and demand a birth certificate as proof. Prove to me you’re
Irish or Italian or whatever else you claim to be. Were you born in Ireland or Italy? If you were born in the United States,
guess what? You are American.

You are where you’re born! If your mom popped you out on US soil, you’re
American. Plain and simple! You may not like it and want to deny it – as
sometimes I do but I can’t claim I’m something else no matter how badly I want
to at times just to avoid being blamed for our abominable foreign policy or
being chided for W’s presidency as if we have any control over corrupt election
practices just because we’re supposedly a democracy. My great-grandmother may
have been a Polish immigrant and great-grandfather a German immigrant but that
doesn’t make me Polish or German or any of the other ethnicities of my
ancestors. They were born outside the U.S.; I was not.

Born in the US?
You’re American. Maybe you’re of French or Indian or Brazilian descent but you
are NOT French or Indian or Brazilian unless you were born in France, India,
or Brazil.
Why is that so hard to understand? What the fak is this with Americans? I’m
sorry but I have only heard such nonsense from Americans. I’ve never heard
Europeans try to claim they’re something else besides what they technically
are.

Most Americans are mixed derivatives of various ethnicities
simply because of the mixing and matching of relations with so many immigrants
of so many origins. We seem to have a little of everything by our very nature
but children born here are nothing more than Americans when it comes down to
it. So, why do people seem confused when it’s as plain as day? Why do they
argue over what they are when the answer is simple: American. That’s what you
are. American.

I’m not saying you ignore the fact your great grandmother
was an Italian immigrant and your great grandfather from Denmark. Don’t
ignore that and surely embrace whatever cultural traditions you choose to
embrace but please let’s stop this nonsense: I’m a German American when you
were born here, you don’t speak a word of German, you’ve never been to Germany and
overall you wouldn’t know German beer from a Budweiser.

I remember my own grandparents arguing about what they were
when they were both born in America.
My grandfather’s ancestors came from Poland
and what’s now the Czech
Republic. He and my
grandmother were constantly bickering over whether he was more Polish or more
Slovak as if it mattered when he was truly neither and only American. I’m sure
all of the geographical name changes since his ancestors left would really
spark one hell of an argument. You’d have to know them – truly comedic couple
who’d engage in the most ridiculous argumentative banter you’d ever heard.

We grew up in a small town mostly populated with descendants
of Irish, Polish, Russian, and Italian immigrants and you should’ve heard them.
All born in America
and yet they’d argue over what they were and make fun of their neighbor for
being of a different descent via the ethnic slurs. The families of Italian
descent made fun of those ‘Polocks’ down the street and in turn, the families
of Polish descent made cracks about the ‘Wops’ up the street. Quite amusing
when everyone was the same: AMERICAN! My grandfather would refer to guys from
work as the Irishman or the Italian guy but neither came from anywhere else but
Small Town, USA. There was/still is this
division there over something that doesn’t even really exist. False claims of
something they’re not at all.