Holy Fakin' Email, Batman!

I've about had it with these religiwhacks trying every which way to jam their holy intentions down my throat. While I find the bumper sticker bearing, Tea Party attending Christian fundamentalist activists wholeheartedly obnoxious and intolerable, I've come to discover I'm more irritated by those who adopt the more subtle, seemingly innocent approach to raping you with their religion as part of their subconscious need to save the non-believers from ourselves and recruit us into their cause.

You know the type to which I refer. They're the ones with the email signatures like 'God bless', 'have a blessed day', or some faked up string of biblical verse gracing the end of their emails. Why must people do this, I ask myself? Are you so dead-set on showing off your Christianity (ie stupidity) that you want to shout it from the minarets? Ooops, sorry, wrong religion.

This is bothersome enough when it is via a personal email.In that case, it's my fault for not blocking you as spam. This reminds me to take a closer look at my contact list. I can control my personal realm. However,why am I forced to tolerate this in other realms of life where I deem it highly inappropriate behavior?

I'm noticing this nonsense more commonly occurring within academic and professional realms where the almost covertly religious employ this crafty method to sneak in their religious mission in the same way parents mash up vegetables and hide them in the spaghetti sauce so the kids don't realize they're eating carrots along with that bowl of Spaghetti-Os. WTF is with that? Why is this tolerated in a professional sphere? Why can't people leave their fakin' religion at the office door and accept the fact that some of us don't give a flying fak if they love Jesus. In most cases, I'd rather not know because I immediately resent you and label you as a religiwhack as soon as I know you're a Christian campaigner. I don't care how qualified or talented you are as [insert profession here]. You immediately lose all credibility so it's better if I don't know you're waiting for the Rapture. Trust me: I won't ask; please don't tell!

It's somewhat why I appreciate the warning issued by the conservative Christian bumper stickers. Allow-profile Jesus fish on a bumper actually does serve a purpose; it warns to proceed with caution as the driver is a religiwhack. They live with their heads up their asses traipsing around following God's plan for them; therefore, they're probably not the most alert drivers because they believe God will protect them from harm so why bother paying attention to the road or other drivers? Thank you, Jesus fish!

But these email offenders are a different story. Why the FAKdo these people have such a pressing need to ram their religion down the throat of everyone unlucky enough to have to deal with them in the workplace? Why am I subjected to the passive sermon every time I'm forced to interact with them?

With some of these loonies, it's more intentional than even a pre-programmed e-mail signature that tags every e-mail they send with a seemingly innocent 'God bless.'.In some cases, they're actively tagging that which cannot be pre-programmed to do their holy bidding for them. I've encountered several recently who will physically type ‘God Bless' or ‘Jesus Saves' within such things like internal message boards as if they just can't let that opportunity to preach for Jesus slip by no more than Kyle's mom would be able to pass you in the hallway without hitting you up to buy some Jewscout cookies. EVERY fakin' piece of correspondence carries their godly greetings.